“All children, except one, grow up…”

C. S. Lewis claimed that a good children’s book is one that can be enjoyed well past a person’s  youth. The reason is because a good children’s book appropriately captures the balance between the simple and profound.  It is able to fill one’s heart with wonder, joy, and tranquility, while simultaneously undergo an encounter with sin, revealing how virtue will always stand triumphant. 

When I reflect on some of my favorite children’s books, Peter Pan, by J. M. Barrie, always comes to mind:  the illustrious story of a boy who did not grow up.  On the surface level, the novel may seem to be a glittering, whimsical adventure, abundant with mermaids and fairies and pirates.  Yet, a careful reading of the text reveals a dark and painful story that is just as apropos for adults as it is for children. 

Peter Pan is every girl’s crush. Suave and charming.  Daring and adventurous. Wendy Darling is no exception; Peter is her ideal.   She spends hours recounting stories about this debonair character.  

The book commences when Wendy is made aware that she is standing on the threshold of growing up, becoming a young woman, and leaving behind childish things.  She is dismal by the prospect. To leave childhood and all of its glittering joys and face a world of responsibility seems like such a cruel ordeal. 

That night, Peter Pan swoops into the scene and whisks Wendy and her brothers off to Neverland, where no one ever has to grow up. 

At first, one might think “how fun!”  The reader is taken on a wild adventure into a world of dazzling make believe.  Yet, in this seemingly charming place, the story reveals itself to possess an unusually dark and foreboding conflict  between youth and maturity. 

Peter has brought Wendy to Neverland with the intention of her becoming a mother to his band of Lost Boys:  boys who are, precisely what the name implies, absolutely aimless, lacking any grounding whatsoever. Peter Pan is their sole leader, their male role model in all things.

Once in Neverland, Wendy assumes the role of mother.  As such her character reflects all things feminine. She is gentle, nurturing, pure, and kind. She administers to the needs of the boys, and along the way she develops feelings for Peter.

Peter, conversely, is incapable of love.  He is, in many ways, Wendy’s antithesis. Peter is enraptured by the joy of youth.  His life revolves around adventure, charm, and self.  All the same, Peter understands that Wendy represents something inherently good: the maternal.  Hence, why he brings her into his Neverland. He knows she holds a necessary virtue, but he cannot partake in that.  He cannot truly care for her.  

To all the other characters, Peter is everything everyone else wants or wants to be.  

He has captured the love of Tiger Lily, Tinker Bell, and the mermaids are only “friendly” towards Peter. 

Yet, these girls are entrapped in the false reality of Neverland and cannot grasp Peter’s distance: his actual stifled state.   Peter is immune to any profound response to their affections. In choosing himself, he has lost out on any thing real or beautiful.  He has built himself up in a false world: Neverland. 

Peter is stunted by a selfish world where everything pivots around his needs and his desires.  His entire world is built upon his ego.   Think of an infant being born into the world, everything is for me right now.  Real maturity forces one to cast off vainglory of grow into authentic, self-giving love, which is what Wendy possesses.  Peter sees the difference, but cannot grasp what that means because he is enslaved by his refusal to grow up. Instead, he chooses himself and his own glory.  For this reason, his arch-nemesis is a twisted mirrored version of himself: Captain Hook, a grown man who is very much a child, but has lost his external look of youth.

As a result, Neverland brings no joy to Wendy.  The place she imagined to be her safe-haven, leaves her unhappy.  Her brothers have lost their way and join the aimless life style of the Lost Boys, and Wendy can only “play” mother.  Yet, it is her feminine virtue that keeps her clear-minded, unlike the selfish, “badly-behaved” Tinker Bell, or the jealous Tiger Lily.  Wendy can start to comprehend that this way of life– perpetual youth– is miserable and callous. She had bought into Peter’s guise and is left miserable. 

Wendy realizes that the only right thing to do is return to reality, and grow into a young woman.   In choosing something greater than ego, she cannot stay in Neverland. 

When Peter brings Wendy and her brothers home to the Darlings, he experiences his first pang of possible remorse.  For in looking through the window at a family, he is forced to see who he is and what he has done.  He will never be able to partake in that love, in that goodness.  He can only observe from the other side of a window. Barrie likens him to the stars, for “stars are beautiful, but they may not take part in anything, they must just look on forever.” 

Peter may have a beautiful facade, but is incapable of partaking in real beauty, real goodness.  He has chosen to serve himself, and in doing so, he is a slave to his ego, a slave to childish ways. 

Wendy’s goodness of heart frees her from Neverland and saves her brothers from being perpetual Lost Boys.  Yet, for Peter, there is little hope. He is the glittering hero at the start of the novel, but by the end, he is shown as the stifled, unhappy, boy — Forever enslaved to his ego. 

Peter Pan, in many ways,  can be seen as a cautionary tale.  Every individual living out his own story can choose self and ego or love and responsibility. And just like almost every character in the novel, it is easy to be transfixed by the glittering but deadly world of Neverland.   

Wendy’s honest understanding of self and the ability to recognize her role and calling as a woman, is what allows her to acknowledge there is something greater than Neverland.  Something better. Ultimately, while it may be harder and require much sacrifice, there is something that is infinitely more beautiful, good, and sacred than a life entrenched in egotism could ever permit. 

Whereas, Peter, who has managed to become like a  glittering star, will never encounter the good he was created for.  He can only view true goodness from the other side of a window.