“I asked God to help me grow, and it started to rain.”

I was a senior in college.  The night was chilly, I had term papers to write and my whole, overly-caffeinated world seemed so busy and overwhelming.  I popped into the chapel and asked God to make it right.  

Please.”

When I left, feeling lighter and freer, I smiled– give it to God and all is good!

But there was ice.

I found myself careening across the macadam, my favorite jeans ripped open and my knees and hands sliced. Blood stained and black and blue.  I looked like I was in a fight! My heart was going fast from utter shock and a slew of cuss words came racing to my lips; then I thought of how I was “so at peace; everything was so right again.”  

 Not even a minute later, there I was ticked off, bleeding, and down a pair of jeans.

I started to laugh, “Gee, thanks, God, for keeping me humble… this isn’t what I had in mind, by the way.”


“I asked God to help me grow, and it started to rain.”

All things are made new in the risen-Christ.  

A couple of months ago, I sat and pondered these words, as an uncomfortable voice breathed inside me, “you could be more than you are.”  These words weren’t taunting or cruel. They were a charge.  A Quo Vadis moment. Where was I going and who was I becoming? 

“Pray to become the woman you are called to be.”  A priest had said, and when I sat down in my pew, the Church deserted, just me and Christ in the tabernacle, I realized that I did not know that woman anymore– the one I am called to be.  “Help me be her.” 

Whoever that is.

The words came back to me.

All things are made new.  I wanted to be made new.  My eyes turned upward, and I whispered my prayer. 


  I don’t know why I always expect prayer to be like a magical potion. I seem to always think this.  Like that chilly night with the ice. 

You know, maybe God sprinkles ethereal dust over me, like a sprite in a Shakespearean play. 

 Poof! Everything has been ameliorated! Cue the confetti. 

Ah! If only. 

God wants us to grow.  We are called to be saints, after all. 

But…

Quick gardening/growth lesson –If you want something to grow, you need to dig, you need to pull out the weeds and any other nastiness.  And then you need it to rain. 

In a word, it feels a bit like “ouch!”

“Okay, God, this is reallyyy not what I had in mind.”  I found myself saying again.

All things are made new in the Risen Christ and there is no Ressurection without the Passion.   

In order to be made new, we must die to self.  

“I asked God to help me grow, and it started to rain.”

Our sanctity can seem like a big scary thing that inspires a lot of disasters. 

Yet, our sanctity is God’s project.  Our job is simply to participate, to say yes; so, don’t be afraid of the rain.  While our path to holiness demands that we truly encounter our weaknesses, in doing so, our eyes and hearts are opened to what Christ means when He says, “see how much I love you.”  

God lets it rain, not because He wants us to feel like a drowned rat (ie a total mess), but because He knows the most beautiful things can burst forth after a storm.  As such, we can’t give up or be discouraged by our weaknesses; we can’t dwell on the past and the “should ofs” or become too consumed by the “one days.” The greatest thing is that Christ loves the you of right now. That is the person He is calling out to, waiting to help. You’re His precious little one, and He will pick you up when you fall if you let Him. 

There is no need to be afraid of the rain, something beautiful is to follow. After all, He makes all things new.  Just trust Him.

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