Where would we be in this world without online quizzes? Quizzes assisting us as we discover more about our identity? With a few swift clicks, all those crazy questions about “WHO AM I” can be answered.
What does the internet say in regards to which Disney Princess is my spirit animal? Or what cocktail would I be?
The internet is chockfull of telling information; information that can truly help us find ourselves, learn more and more about who we are, and discover our role in the world.
Where would we be without these rescources?
I am Belle! A shot of whiskey! A Spicy Takiti roll!
Dude. Think about how this self-knowledge will transform your world! It’s a game-changer. These newfound realizations are sure to liven up your next date or business interview; you never know who will ask, “So…what kind of sushi roll are you?” I mean, I certainly might ask you.
Once upon a time, I took one of those glorious quizzes to determine whether or not I am an “Alpha Woman.” I was pretty confident it would ring up a resounding, “Hell, yeah.” Therefore, when it did, my initial reaction was to permit a smug “obviously” smirk to glisten on my lips. (As you can tell, I rely heavily on these internet quizzes to help me navigate through life.* ) Yet, is this something to be pleased by?
I started to wonder: who is the Alpha woman?
The question was once again broached when a close friend of mine asked: “Do you consider yourself an Alpha Woman?”
When did this archetype enter the scene, and who composed her part? And moreover, who the heck is she?
In today’s fourth-wave feminism-empowerment-obsessed society, I think it’s important to ask if the “Alpha Woman” is our contemporary take on the 1960s/second wave feminism “Cosmo Girl?”
Let me elaborate, the Cosmo Girl was a woman diligently composed by Cosmopolitan magazine; she was entirely fictitious, but she was sexually liberated and subsequently, free to enter the business scene. As women read articles about these made-up women living “liberated” lives they began to think, “Hmm. What am I doing wrong?”
They bought into an entirely fictitious persona and a whole disaster ensued.
In order to learn more about this, read Subverted by Sue Ellen Browder, who wrote for Cosmopolitan and bore witness to it all.
All the same, the Cosmo Girl was not there to help women or simply give them something sensuous to read before making dinner; she was part of a bigger agenda. She had a role in ushering in the Sexual Revolution and break down of the family.
So, who is Alpha girl and what is her role?
I started to investigate this archetype.
What a wild ride! I discovered so much:
- I had bought into her image and had once tried to be her.
- More importantly, I am absolutely not a fan of her. She is not what she appears to be.
At first, Alpha Woman sounds extremely appealing (almost like a superhero): she is intelligent; sought after; she is a leader; she is the one who is absolutely exceptional in every way.
However, when I started to scrutinize more and more, I found her less than savory. And that a whole mess exists beneath her “cool” exterior.
The Alpha Woman trains women to seek their self-worth outside of themselves. What have you accomplished? How powerful are you in the business world? How many men fawn after you? Are you in it for yourself?
The Alpha Woman is all about being dominate. She is about being needless.
To keep up her facade is exhausting and isolating.
Hence, why it’s easy to find a lot of articles about Alpha Women and loneliness.
This female “ideal” subtly persuades women into believing a lot of their innate traits are worthless.
How do those qualities fit into the picture? Wouldn’t they be a foil? Isn’t the Boss Babe the cool girl? No one tells her what to do. Isn’t sweet weak?
But here is the thing, when women break from their femininity, they try to distance themselves from their very nature. That hurts; women end up building walls that isolate because they are afraid of their femininity. That is a lonely, difficult position. As such, it’s met with pain and confusion.
Suzanne Venker, the non-fiction author, writes about this: “Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies.”
Venker is absolutely correct. This is the issue: the Alpha Woman is a seductress. She is all glamor and games, but ultimately she convinces women to lose sight, and possibly break away from their femininity. And when women do that, they lose sight of their real power.
It is actually the opposite of liberated. It’s confining.
Venker illustrates this by a personal example: “I embraced my alpha personality as though it were a baby in need of protection. . . . Why should I have to change? Who would I be if I changed? And how could I be someone different, even if I wanted to? . . .But my alpha ways were bumping up against my husband’s alpha nature. We were like two bulls hanging out in the same pen together, and there was too much friction. And because I had zero interest in my husband adopting a more feminine role, I set about to become the feminine creature our culture insists women not be.
And here’s what I learned: It’s liberating to be a beta.”
YES! Being authentically feminine (or more beta) is liberating. You know all those stickers and posters stating: BE YOU because you are BE-YOU-tiful. Well, our culture actually doesn’t want women to do that. “Being you,” a good woman, means embracing your femininity. Women can’t break from their essence. When you do, you are stifled.
Women need to come to terms with the fact that even if they are the toughest, most rad broads alive, they have a feminine soul, and in some ways they have a maternal calling. That means, in some ways, women need to be soft and need to be receptive. Women need to be feminine.
I think Alpha Woman is Cosmo Girl’s granddaughter. Both of these characters want women to believe that their feminine soul is not beautiful and that it is not where their REAL power lies.
Cosmo and Alpha may be all glitzy and glamorous, but at the end of the day, they are devoid of real substance. Why? Because they’re devoid of what makes women WOMEN: their feminine nature. They’re like Lady Macbeth wanting to be “unsexed,” only to find they are trapped and miserable.
In conclusion, women can be leaders and we should definitely be competent. We are pretty damn amazing, but that’s because our femininity is pretty amazing; however, we have no need for Alpha Woman. She is deceitful and she will leave us hurting.
Instead, everything women need is actually right inside, embedded into their souls because God gave it to them– He gave it to YOU. And when He gives you something it’s a billion times better than anything the world can give you.
I am all for women’s liberation. That is, in the sense that women need to be liberated from the harsh confines of feminism. They need to be free to be women. Good, feminine, loving women.
And I didn’t learn that in an online quiz.
*for the few souls who came into this world with no conception of facetiousness, I suggest you look it up in a dictionary right about now.